What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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