uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
