if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
honey bunches of taint.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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