He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
