Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
