he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
