We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
