from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
