So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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