Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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