In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
