You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
