Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
