I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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