Rock
Scissors
Fuck
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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