Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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