Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
