jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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