This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
