Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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