Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
