Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
