3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize