D3 body, D1 cock
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
