before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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