just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
