New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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