I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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