I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
