I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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