i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
