the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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