Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
