do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
