My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What a dumb baby whore.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
