The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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