I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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