And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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