how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
