Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
