Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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