I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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