**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Come on in and take your pants off
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