hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize