your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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