this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
