I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
