We won't sleep together?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
