Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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