Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
