uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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