sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's official drugs can't kill me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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