Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize