i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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