When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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