oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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