are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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