Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
