Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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