dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it glows. i had to have it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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