And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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