do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
