i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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