I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
