I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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