I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
