Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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