Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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